In this article, Gwyneth “confesses” (OMG as though she needs to) to maintaining separate residences with her mate, Brad, and spending only four nights out of seven per week together. According to her friends her arrangement is ideal, but at the end of the day who really care what their “friends” think about their marital arrangement.
I confess, when Gwyneth’s announcement came out about her first divorce as a “conscious uncoupling” I thought, “Wow, I wish I was as sophisticated.” Now that I hear that she too is living…less than full-time with her current mate, I again confessed for a half a minute, “Wow, I’m just as sophisticated as Gwyneth.”
Quite frankly, Gwynth’s marital arrangement is neither new or unique. In Louisiana, where I live, many wives live “part-time” with their spouses who work off-shore for weeks, perhaps even months on end while their wives raise the children and manage the household. Never-mind the hundreds of thousands of soldiers and other military personnel who also spend great lengths of time separated from their mates.
I, like so many others, are not nearly as sophisticated as Gwyneth Paltrow, at least not by third-dimensional reality terms, but that’s okay. In addition to so many others, like those married to the off-shore worker and the military personnel, I too have been living less than “full-time” with my awesome and amazing mate for the majority of our marriage.
In 2003 we married, and in 2006 I went to law school. It wasn’t until 2009, after graduating and giving birth to our second son, three weeks after law school, when I had to re-adjust to living fulltime with my husband (external influences considered we almost did not make it). In 2017 (I think) we were back to a part-time reality as we began expanding his integrative medical practice with full on family-business sweat-equity into New Orleans, Louisiana, necessitating a relay race of sorts where a baton was passed between the two of us and the baton representing the kids.
Now, in 2019, we are still running the race with him commuting between two offices three hours apart and the children and I mostly stationed in New Orleans. What does that mean logistically? We, like Gwyneth and Brad are together four nights (at most) out of the week, while so many others are going weeks and even months on end without the support we often take for granted.
But ultimately, here’s the deal. From an “empowered woman” prospective, an empowered woman being one who knows who she is, she knows her value, and knows what kind of mate she attracts and is actually worthy of. An empowered woman does not spend her time worried over low-level “what-if” infidelity issues.
An empowered woman doesn’t worry about others tempting her mate, she does not spend her efforts or her energy trying to maintain control over what she already knows as being outside of her control, nor does she commiserate with emotions of unworthiness, distrust, lack or trust. She knows who she is. She knows her value. She knows any mate that she has designated as her partner in this life experience, understands and appreciates all of that too.
Of course, after-all, if by some freak of nature her mate fails to embrace her as the empowered woman that she is, that’s okay too, because, as an empowered woman, she also understands and appreciates the Universal Law of Non-Attachment.
Let there be no mistake about it, I am writing from an empowered woman perspective, but the empowered man is equally endowed. There is not a woman on the planet that can manipulate or disintegrate the empowered man. I am actually married to such a man. He knows his value and worth, as well he should.
A marriage worth investing in is one that honors and respects each partner equally, ergo,” Help-Mate.” We each deserve a partner in life that supports our visions, missions and purpose. And, quite frankly, “friend’s,” family’s, and outsiders opinions of what is “right” for any married couple other than themselves is irrelevant.
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