“When we think everything is someone else’s fault, we suffer, much.
When we realize that everything springs from ourselves, we learn both peace and joy.”
- Dalai Lama
It seems as if nearly every day I come across someone blaming someone else for some negative something that is happening to them; from blaming their co-workers and employers for their own laziness and bad attitude, to blaming their genetics for their obesity and diabetes.
This finger-pointing diseased mentality is exemplified, if not glorified, in political debates (currently being led by the likes of Trump, Clinton, Cruz, et al.). Then of course we need only turn on any “news” channel to see one country blaming another country for the atrocity du jour.
What is at the root of blame and how do we begin to shift this toxicity?
“All blame is a waste of time.
No matter how much fault we find with another, and regardless of how much we blame him, it will not change us.
The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off us when we are looking for external reasons to explain our unhappiness or frustration. We may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but we won’t succeed in changing whatever it is about us that is making us unhappy.”
– Dr. Wayne Dyer.
When we blame others, we are projecting our own self-perceived shortcomings or flaws onto other people and lashing out at them because we are unable to acknowledge those issues within ourselves.
Blaming someone else for our unhappiness, our weight-gain, our disease, perhaps even our miserable job, marriage, or familial relationships, is nothing short of willingly abdicating our own personal power to hand it to those people we accuse of making us unhappy.
Why are we continually choosing to do this? Why are we so afraid of looking within? Why are we so afraid of retaining our personal power…our happiness?
What if instead, when we are sitting at our desk with a headache, feeling horrible and thinking about everything that is wrong with our job, our relationships, our life, even the world, we started to ask ourselves a few questions: