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Just Say What You Want To Say


I saw an IG post today of a young woman inspiring people to say Y-E-S because you never know what may happen and you don't want to miss it!

 In 2015 Shonda Rhimes wrote a book entitled, "Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person." It was a good book with great insights into how committing to say "Yes" got Shonda out of her comfort zone and opened doors for her.

Saying "Yes" and then showing up for whatever yes was said in response to is a great way to get one out of their comfort zone - especially for someone who has no problem saying, "No."  Sometimes, "No" is easier because it may take less energy, require less responsibility, be less demanding... and may also buffer against any potential disapointments. And then, if you don't say "Yes," you probably can get away with not knowing what you may have missed out on, but then again, you may have dodged a bullet and avoided risk.  Who knows? You won't because you said, No."  

And that's okay.

Meanwhile, there are other people who say "Yes" to absolutely everything. They couldn't decline a request or invitation if they were suffering from a 104 degree fever and were walking in double crutches.  The dark side of not being able to say "No," oftentimes leads people to utter and complete exhaustion; too many balls in the air and really only successfully stirring up what I call a tazmanian devil level of energetic activity with little to no actual productiveness.  Then there are those who say yes with absolute naievte and get a rude awakening when they've been take advantage of.  The latter I am intimately familiar with. 

My point is this... you know when saying yes to [fill in the blank] is going to be good for you and good for others because you will actually have a desire to show up for that [fill in the blank].  If you say yes to a thing you don't really want to participate in, not only will you be miserable, but chances are likely you'll make others around you miserable as well.  

Likewise, you know when saying no to [fill in the blank] is going to serve you, and others as well. You know which way to go in each moment and in each opportunity to make a decision.  It's not about saying yes to everything, nor is it about saying no to everything.  It's about knowing yourself, trusting yourself, and then saying what you really mean.